Why People Lie, and How Leaders Often Get It Wrong

We all lie.

Not always to deceive. Sometimes to protect ourselves. To avoid judgement. To maintain peace. To survive the moment.

But when someone lies at work, especially in a team you lead, the default response is often:
They’re dishonest.
They can’t be trusted.
They’re hiding something.

And while that may be partially true, it’s rarely the full story.

The Lies We Tell (and why)

Most lies aren’t elaborate. They’re small, subtle, and socially acceptable.
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll be there in five.”
“I didn’t see your email.”

These are little white lies -told not to cause harm, but to soften the truth or protect feelings.

Even the bigger lies, the ones that damage trust, usually stem from something deeper than manipulation.

People often lie when:

• They feel unsafe being honest

• They’re afraid of consequences

• They’re protecting their reputation

• They don’t know how to express what’s really going on

• They feel ashamed

Lying is often a defence mechanism. A symptom and not the root cause.

The Leadership Blind Spot

Many leaders focus on what was lied about, not why.
We judge the behaviour, not the conditions that created it.
We expect honesty, but do we really create the safety that allows for it?

If people don’t feel safe telling the truth, they’ll lie. Not necessarily out of malice but out of fear.

That’s a culture problem. And culture is a leadership responsibility.

What Great Leaders Do Differently

• Get curious, not just critical. What’s underneath the lie?

• Create psychological safety. People speak the truth when they don’t fear the fallout.

• Model it. Be honest about your mistakes and uncertainty.

• Check the culture. If people are hiding things, ask why truth feels risky.

Final Thought

Lying at work isn’t always about dishonesty. Sometimes, it’s a form of self-protection.

If you want honesty in your team, especially the kind that leads to learning, innovation, and growth, then create a culture where people can speak truth without fear.

Honesty takes courage. But it also takes safety. And leaders set the tone for both.