The Label Problem: Why the Stories We Tell About Our People Are Costing Us

There's a moment most hospitality leaders have experienced. Standing in a pre-shift briefing, or waiting for a meeting to start, watching a team member walk through the door, and before they've said a word, you've already decided who they are.

"She's difficult." "He's unreliable." "They can't be trusted."

It happens fast. And it may be one of the most damaging things we do…… not just as leaders, but as humans.

We are label-making machines

Faced with the continuous flow of information that comes with running a busy restaurant, bar or venue, our brains reach for shortcuts. Stereotypes, the personal labels we attach to people and situations, are among the most powerful of those shortcuts.

And those shortcuts carry a cost.

When you label a team member as "lazy," you stop looking for evidence that contradicts it. When you label a guest as "demanding," you prime your whole front-of-house team to see them that way before they've even sat down. When you label a situation as "always a problem," you stop looking for solutions.

This is psychology, and not a character flaw. But that doesn't mean we should let it run unchecked.

What labels do to your team culture

The real danger of personal labels in hospitality leadership is that they're contagious.

When a senior leader labels someone, that label travels. A GM whispers to an operations manager. An operations manager signals it to the MD. By the time the person walks into the meeting, the room has already decided who they are. The label has become the culture.

This plays out in ways that are hard to see and so easy to feel:

The self-fulfilling cycle. People perform to the expectations set for them. Label someone as a low performer and watch how quickly they become one, because every interaction subtly confirms it. Feedback gets withheld. Development opportunities dry up.

The trust deficit. Teams notice when leaders label people, and they wonder: What label does she have for me? I've felt this myself, walking into a room and knowing exactly what box I'd been put in by a toxic leader. That feeling - felt back of house, in the break room, in the silence after a meeting - erodes psychological safety faster than almost anything else.

The loss of potential. Hospitality is an industry built on people. When you've labelled someone, you've stopped investing in them. And in an industry already facing chronic staffing challenges, writing off talent you already have is a luxury no business can afford.

Labels aren't just about people

The psychology of labelling goes beyond individuals: it leaks into circumstances too.

"Sunday brunches are always chaos." "That section is impossible to turn." "The first week of events at Christmas is a disaster every year."

These situational labels are just as damaging because they remove the leader's ownership. Once a circumstance has been labelled as inherently problematic, the energy shifts from solving it to surviving it. Teams stop bringing ideas because they've absorbed the belief that nothing will change. Standards lower because the label has given permission to expect less.

Breaking the label habit

Awareness is the beginning, not the solution. Here are some practices:

Catch yourself narrating. When you notice a story forming in your head about a person or situation, pause. Ask: Is this an observation or a conclusion? There's a significant difference between "she was late three times this week" and "she's unreliable."

Separate behaviour from identity. One of the most powerful shifts any leader can make is moving from person-labels to behaviour-labels. Address what someone did, NOT who they are. It keeps the door open for change.

Invite contradiction. Actively look for evidence that challenges the label. If you've written someone off as "not leadership material," set them a leadership task. You might be wrong, and being wrong here is a very good outcome.

Watch who carries the label. If a new manager joins and immediately inherits the same view of a team member that everyone else holds, that's a sign the label has become institutional. Fresh eyes are valuable, please protect them.

The standard we should hold ourselves to

Hospitality is the business of making people feel seen, valued, and welcomed. That ethos has to start inside the operation, and with the way leaders see their teams.

The next time a name comes up in a meeting and you feel a label forming - difficult, lazy, drama, problem - treat that as a leadership and learning moment. Because the story you choose to tell about your people shows up in their work.

And in the end, that's on you.

Inspired by the work of John Stossel and psychologist Kristina Kandal on the psychology of stereotypes and labelling.