Shaped by the Good
We spend a lot of time talking about what broke us. The setbacks, the struggles, the moments that stretched us beyond what we thought we could handle. And those stories matter, don’t they. They explain our scars, they remind us of our strength, and they often become the milestones we use to measure how far we’ve come.
But by focusing only on what broke us, do we risk ignoring what built us?
The quiet work of good moments
Think about the times when someone gave you trust before you’d earned it. Or when encouragement arrived just as you were about to give up. Or when a door opened that you didn’t even know existed, changing the course of what came next.
We don’t always notice it at the time, but these moments lay foundations. They shape our courage, they stretch our belief in what’s possible, and they become the reason we take the next step. They build us, often quietly, steadily, and in ways hardship never could.
Why the good goes unseen
We’re quick to say, I’m strong because I survived X. But how often do we say, I’m kind because I was shown kindness, or, I’m brave because someone believed in me?
The good often feels less dramatic, so it gets pushed aside. Pain demands our attention; joy is easier to dismiss. Yet both leave their mark. One reminds us we can survive, and the other reminds us we can grow.
What we carry forward
What I find most powerful is how the good doesn’t stop with us. It ripples outward. The encouragement you once received becomes the encouragement you give. The trust placed in you becomes the trust you pass on. The generosity shown to you becomes the generosity you give to others.
Without meaning to, you’ve become a bridge. And someone else is now being built by what first built you.
A reminder
It’s important to remember our scars, but it’s just as important to honour our celebrations. To name the things that lifted us, not just the things that hurt us. Because resilience is only half the story. The other half is the goodness, the kindness, the opportunities and the unexpected moments of joy that gave us the courage to become more than we were before.
By focusing only on what broke us, we risk ignoring what built us. And if we ignore what built us, how can we ever be deliberate about building others?
