No One Remembers Easy
Have you ever found yourself wishing things were just a little bit easier, where the pressure eased slightly, the path ahead felt clearer and the decisions that sit on your shoulders every day did not feel quite so heavy to carry?
I know I have…………..
It is an understandable thought, particularly in moments where work and life seem to gather momentum at the same time and the sense of responsibility keeps building.
Over the years I have come to realise that none of us arrive at work as a blank slate. The way we lead, the way we respond to pressure and the way we support other people is shaped by the experiences we have lived through, both inside and outside the workplace.
And when I look back over the experiences that have shaped my life and the way I show up as a leader, the ones that influenced how I think about people, resilience and what really matters, they rarely sit in the chapters where everything felt calm or comfortable.
Some of those chapters are very clear in my mind.
My father being killed in an accident when I was 23.
Putting a business into administration and carrying the weight of what that meant for the people involved, and my reputation.
Seven rounds of IVF and everything that journey asked of me emotionally.
And a sexual assault when I was at school that took time and strength to understand and process.
None of these experiences were easy (and absolutely no pity party required, please!) and none happened neatly inside a workplace context, and yet each of them shaped the person and leader I became.
With distance I can see how they influenced the way I listen to people, the way I sit with uncertainty, the way I approach difficult conversations and the perspective I hold about what really matters.
That is not to say that the joyful moments do not matter, because of course they do. Love, laughter, friendship and the people who influence us are woven through a life well lived.
But the experiences that ask something of us often become the ones that shape us the most.
There is a quiet kind of comfort in recognising that the harder chapters of our lives often build the depth of our character and the substance of our story.
Because if we want to play a bigger game in life, leaning into the harder moments becomes part of the journey, and the experiences that stretch us tend to shape us in ways that easier times rarely manage.
When I imagine those rear-view mirror moments later in life, or the rocking chair conversations where people reflect on the chapters that really mattered, I know I will remember the people I loved, the individuals who influenced the way I think and lead, the moments that made me laugh until I cried AND
I will also remember the difficult chapters that sometimes quietly, and often kicking and screaming, shaped who I became.
Because those are the things that build a life.
No one really remembers easy.
And when you look back at the moments that shaped you most, I wonder which chapters come to mind.
